Life can be a long, arduous path to hell and back so many times.
But now, what I want more than anything is to find rest. Rest spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I want to need nothing more than the love of God and to be filled with His Holy Spirit constantly.
There is a parable in Matthew 13 which speaks of a merchant searching for fine pearls. When he found a precious pearl, he went and sold everything he had and bought it. (Matthew 13:45-46) What is this Pearl of great price? Eternal life and the love of God through Jesus Christ. Once this is found, any more searching is unnecessary. Our greatest needs are then fulfilled, and our longings satisfied. We are made whole and clean, and our hearts become calm and quiet with His hope for our future. The great price was paid by Christ for our redemption on the cross – shedding His precious blood to pay the penalty for our sins.
So to obtain my desire of needing nothing more than the love of God and being completely satisfied by that, nothing more than His affirmation and accolades, I must be prepared to yield myself to be led by the Lord Jesus. I must forsake and sacrifice everything for this Pearl of great price.
Pray continually, coming before God fervently. Seek Him, and He will be found (Matthew 7:7-8).
Andrew Murray says the following about True Prayer1:
Nothing searches and cleanses the heart like true prayer. It teaches one to ask such questions as these:
-Do I desire what I pray for?
-Am I willing to cast out everything to make room for what God is prepared to give me?
-Is the prayer of my lips the prayer of my life?
-Am I willing to wait on Him, in quiet trust, until He gives me this supernatural gift—His own Spirit?
So When I become low because I’ve made a mistake or have done well and not been recognized for it, when I’m feeling insignificant in the eyes of the world,
I look up to God and ask to be filled with His Holy Spirit.
1Murray, Andrew. Experiencing the Holy Spirit (Kindle Locations 131-135). Start Publishing LLC. Kindle Edition.